Documentary - Rough cut and feedback

One Minute Documentary - Stretch

This is the first rough draft of the one minute documentary for my media course at university,

I gave it in yesterday for feedback from the group and from one of my tutors and she said the main thing I had to fix was sound and to put more emotion into the sequence. 

I'll admit, I was holding bak on the whole 'emotion' side of things because I have this thing when I dont want people to think i'm doing this because I want a pity party or something like that... And I always instantly presume that's what they're thinking. 

But yesterday when we were all showing what we had done people were showing clips of depression and self harm and I didn't judge the person (so why would anyone else?) 

So now i'm over that I need to find a way to create that lets people know about how I was in a wheelchair and contrast that to my recovery - the tutor said I was making my time in the wheelchair seem light hearts which it really wasn't :P

As for sound, I was going to add more diegetic sounds and lower the volume of the track so it isn't the only thing you hear.

But over all I am really pleased with the first draft!

I also want to do something with the footage at the end but not sure yet! Any feedback commments would be appreciated!